No entry/car park exit this way. No parking in front of gates. No access except for Girl Guides. No unauthorised parking. Only authorised access to cars with permits. Parking in front of the gates is prohibited. No parking at any time. Garage in constant use. Please, no. Please, no thank you. Shoplifters will be prosecuted. Fasten your seat belt while seated. Life vest under your seat. Safety onboard. Keep left. Car hire deliveries return.
Remove your belt. Remove your shoes. Go through the glass machine, one at a time. Lift your shoe. And the other one. Take off your shoe and each other. Are you wearing your seat belt? Remove your scarf. Remove your toiletries from the bag. What’s your name, Sir? Open your passport at the right page. Show your boarding card. Don’t forget your receipt. Cabin luggage. Taking pictures of the crew is strictly prohibited. You can’t pay by cash. No engines left running. Evacuating positions.
One way only, restricted parking. The toilets are at the back of the plane, two exits at the front, two exits at the back. Change machine. You must be 21 to enter the arcades. Ticket machine. Exchange tickets for a prize. Dodgems. Wedding area upstairs. £3.00 for soda water. Three British pounds! I’m sorry, cash only. We’ve run out of tea. Ladies at the back. Reserved for families and friends. Video link to the Lady of Assumption (live). The blind is remote-controlled. The boys were so well-behaved during Mass.
Stevie, he, she or they at the nursing home, calls me love and darling. I don’t mind, he-she-they say. I am a stepbrother, a sister, mixed race. Mixed heritage, you mean? Yes. Calls me wee pet. I love it. They are all fighting for the dog. It barks when you pat the head. We wrote her name on the collar, just in case. The light changes and the Mournes keep growing. The clouds over the promenade become a conversation piece. That, or a frozen smile. Celebrity Catchphrase on ITV1. I can’t hear you. The owner had it especially commissioned. It’s painted from the sea. When we don’t get paid, we peel off the gold from the ceiling. The incessant ring of the alarm. We don’t register to get in, we know the code. Anne stares with dark eyes. Blind but you wouldn’t know at first.
A very early start. No wipes. Ulster is British. No UK internal border. I will say a prayer for you and for your family. Prepare to meet thy God. East Belfast, Ballynahinch. Carryduff. Seaforde. Clough. British Spring Time. Fast food joints everywhere, all over the world. Where is the brake on this thing? We couldn’t shut the blind. It’s remote operated. We didn’t know. Bridges everywhere and little sign of peace. Small signs of peace. The daffodils are out. The boys were so well-behaved during Mass.
Rocket came back home last month with one leg hanging off. The builders wrapped him carefully in a towel and placed him in a cat carrier. Cost me £300 at the vet to have its leg removed. Can’t hop on the counter anymore. We were going to call him Biden. Father Jim is a prickly man. You can’t say that when you never go to Mass. We wouldn’t like to do his job. We both noticed he had communion, now we know which foot he kicks with.
My son could eat a whole chicken in one sitting. Ireland is so backwards. At least in Dubai we had access to everything in one place. I’m not drinking. It’s Lent, Guinness 0%. I am going slightly crazy: far too many cars in town, people in the forest park. Let the river have her say. The Girl Guides hollering in the distance. Why not try something different? Sprite is like 7UP. Thank you for your patience. The view over the Mournes. Gorgeous boys, show me your football cards. What team do you support? It’s been years. You look amazing. I love your hair. You are the only French woman I know. Your wife was immediately at ease with me. Quite a remarkable lady. Residential area please switch off engines and no horns. Beware traffic queueing ahead. Staff car park authorised personnel only.
Haven’t forgotten about the recording. I love your lipstick. Gavin and Michael could be twins. At least it’s not raining. Four seasons in one. Which school do they go to? England. What’s the name of the school? What’s the name of the school? We are now flying over Anglesey. A very early start. It’s been a pleasure to fly with you. So well behaved during the service. We are waiting for air control to take off. We have enough fuel in an unlikely event. Ten minutes to landing. The blinds must be opened. Stow away in front of you. Before landing, complete check of the cabin.
Fuck eternal life. That startled a few of them. We want life now, sacred Heart of Jesus. Holy candles in the pound shop. The boys were so well behaved at the ceremony. Chains on the High Street, same all over the world. Herrons, aka the original KFC. Litter. The charity shops are the same everywhere. They keep smiling. Very. All that grass in Saint Patrick’s churchyard and cherry trees in blossom. Back to England, green land. Drab houses. We are running out of fuel. (I am). Have it.
Three seagulls perched on a car rooftop, heads and beaks tilted to drink dew. The ingenuity. A brutal landing. No electronic devices allowed until inside the airport area. Ten minutes ahead of schedule. Strong smell of gasoline. Propeller plane. A bientôt, the only French I know. Hasta la vista. Arrivals. Police control. Sanitise. Automatic doors. Domestic flights only. Stay safe. Keep safe. Keep two metres apart. Wash your hands for twenty seconds. Will you two stop fighting for a minute?? Now wash your hands for twenty seconds. No wipes. Your hair is beautiful. Charges apply. Leave this place as you found it.
Mélisande Fitzsimons
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